Posts Taged powerful-questions-2

Weekend Love, November Seventh

Paperwork prison

Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

Some days, I tell myself this.  Please read Frank Sonnenberg’s article, Failing Doesn’t Make You a Failure.

Dan Rockwell makes some really insightful lists on Leadership (which is to be expected since his blog is titled, Leadership Freak.) Here is one of them on 10 Ways to Seize Leadership’s Greatest Opportunity.

As I sit here planning a quick getaway, this article from Rachel Henke really resonates well with me.  She raises some ideas worth contemplating when she writes about Designing Your Freedom Solution.

The question we often want answered: How to stay calm when you know you’ll be stressed.  Daniel Levitin talks about this on TED.  Click here if the video isn’t showing.

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Weekend Love, October Thirty-First

We share everything, even Halloween treats

We share everything, even Halloween treats

Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

Just about everyone I know is trying to find additional sales this time of year.  Karyn Greenstreet gives you some quick ideas when she writes about 5 Smart Tips to Re-engage Inactive Customers.

The problem might not be the people around you.  It might be your expectations about the people around you.  What will you do now?  Dominique Christine explores this thought in her article on What to Do When You’re Feeling Disappointed in Your Relationship.

Seth Godin is one of the most concise writers I’ve encountered.  He talks about Entitlement vs. Worthiness and asks you to think about Halloween candy.  How this man’s mind works I’ll never know.

This is from the way back machine.  From top to bottom, the choice is yours.  We don’t always recognize that until it gets spelled out for us like Frank Sonnenberg did in his article, The Choice is Yours.

Halloween wouldn’t be complete without at least one article prompted by the holiday.  This one is basically pictures, so check out 26 Hauntingly Beautiful Photos of Abandoned Homes Across America, some of which might just be haunted.

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10 Yogi Berra-isms for Coaches

yogiberraYogi Berra, one of the greatest baseball players of all time, passed away in September.  His feats as a baseball player and coach are legendary.  He still holds some records in major league baseball as a player and a coach.  He was even the inspiration for a long running cartoon character, Yogi Bear (although Hanna-Barbera denied the association for a long time).

He was also well-known for his ability to coin a phrase.  Many of his sayings have become long running punch lines.  Here are ten that offer good advice for coaches.

On the importance of deciding and acting:  When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

On driving to the end:  It ain’t over till it’s over.

On framing and reframing:  Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.

On having goals:  You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

On being totally committed:  Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

On action orientation:  How can you think and hit at the same time?

On listening:  It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

On coaching silence:  You can observe a lot by just watching.

On owning the results:  I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

On being in the flow:  You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.

Bonus:  (It fits every occasion)  If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

May he long be remembered.

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Weekend Love, October Ten

Look at your leadershipHere are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

Want to solve problems or fix them?  Dan Rockwell explores the difference in his article, 10 Ways to Solve Real Problems.

What do you do when you notice others struggling?  Karyn Greenstreet gives some quick lists to recognize struggles and how you can help someone get moving.  Her article is on How to Help a Floundering Member.

Speaking of mistakes, Frank Sonnenberg makes a great case for changing your response to personal mistakes.  His article, The Biggest Mistake, Ever! would be a mistake to not read.

I’ve sometimes found that some people who say they want a coach really don’t.  Joanne Maynard asks a great question in her article Are You Coachable? 3 Questions to Consider.

BONUS:  Want the perfect movie for a night in?  Five Thirty Eight’s survey gives the top 25 all-time choices.  The male-female differences will make you smile.  Read Walt Hickey’s article, The 25 Most Rewatchable Movies of All Time.

 

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Weekend Love, September Nineteenth

iStock_000057846572Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

I love the paradoxes we sometimes find ourselves in.  Tim Brownson explores one when he writes If You Want to Be Creative, Stop Trying to Be Creative.

If you want to cross the goal line, you need to set a goal.  Dan Rockwell fills in more details when he writes about 4 Secrets to Winning.

Coaches have a lot (I mean A LOT) of good communication skills at their disposal.  Micheline Germanos provides an insightful case study into applied coaching skills when she writes about The Coaching Case: A Matter of Trust.

From the archives:  You know it’s not as simple as Michael Hyatt writes, but it just might be.  Check out his article on How to Develop the One Trait Essential for Success.

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Weekend Love, September Twelfth

iStock_000049591616Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

We have preferred patterns of communication—particular people, topics, and tones (think gossip).  Dan Rockwell gives some quick advice on what to keep and what to discard when he writes about How to Spiral Up Not Down.

Who wouldn’t like better teamwork?  Jim Whitehurst suggests 3 Ways to Encourage Smarter Teamwork.

No matter how much you try, you can’t do it all.  Leo Babuta provides some insights about making your choices when he writes How Not To Do It All.

From the archives:  Most of the people I coach are trying to find the right way to share their products online without becoming tedious.  I like the advice from Naomi Dunford when she talks about 3 Simple Ways To Mention Your Products From Your Blog or Newsletter.

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Weekend Love, September Fifth

iStock_000042621008Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

When confronted with change, our first reactions range from head-in-the-sand to raging battles.  Susan Fowler asks three of the best questions for a situation like that when she writes about Thriving in the Midst of Change: Ask 3 Questions.

The opening paragraph starts, “Fascinating leaders ask questions. The rest are dullards.”  How can you not want to read the article?  Join Dan Rockwell as he answers that age-old question about How to Become a Fascinating Leader.

I know that I am not the poster child for exercise and fitness.  I do that stuff, and hate it.  Mark Sisson finally explains why.  If you are like me, you can read how you got to this state and ways to get out of it in his article on Why Getting Fit Isn’t the Best Exercise Motivation (and 10 Better Reasons to Move Today).

Bonus Video:  Brian Tracy and his daughter, Christina, discuss his new book , Find your Balance Point.  It’s a great discussion about the stuff we know but don’t do on topics like harmony, being grounded, and working from your passion.  Enjoy The Secret to Finding Balance in Your Life.

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What Defines Importance for You?

your authentic self

If a stranger were to watch you for a week, how would they know what is important in your life?

We all carry around a picture in our head of what’s important.  And if we talk about our values, materials wants and needs, beliefs and “why’s”, we can find a way to share that picture with someone.

My question is a little different.  If someone were to shadow you, what would they say?  How do you act towards what is important in your life?

One way they could probably tell is by the amount of time you spend on certain activities.  The assumption is that if it’s important, you spend more time doing it.  You know that doesn’t tell the whole story.

Your soul and spiritual life is important but as a percentage of time…not so much.

You spend most of your life at work.  Does that make it most important?

Can “quality time” replace “quantity of time” as a way to determine importance?  Does your passion matter?

I obviously don’t have the answers to these questions and yet I think they are worth pondering.  How will you SHOW people what’s important in your life?  When you find your answer, then your true self is obvious to everyone.

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Weekend Love, July Twenty-Fifth

employee complaintsHere are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

If you want to find out what others think about you, then you’ll have to find a way to ask them.  Lou Solomon reports on a Harris poll about The Top Complaints from Employees About Their Leaders.  Most of them even fit direct sellers and other entrepreneurs using independent contractors.

Want to know the best way to not look dumb?  Ask Questions.  Dan Rockwell gives you some great examples and he explores the topic, What If You’re Not That Smart?

When’s the last time you did a simple SWOT analysis of your business.  As you prepare to move into the Fall season, maybe you should think about one.  Dan McCarty gives you the basics in his article, How to Conduct a SWOT Analysis.

I absolutely hate text messages.  It’s great to find out I’m not alone.  Michael Hyatt agree when he writes about 3 Reasons I Hate Text Messages.

For the next couple of weeks I’ll be on a wilderness retreat that is completely off the digital grid.  Some might say I’ve simply gone fishin.’  In any case, I’ll  catch up with you the week of August 11.

 

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The Art of Coaching

What is happiness questionHow do you explain passion?  How do you know with every core of your being that something is perfect or impossible?  The answer lies in what Michael Polanyi calls “The Tacit Dimension.”  Tacit knowledge is what we know that we would struggle to say.

Think about young Tim, a teenager just coming to grip with the concept of “love.” I can picture this 13-year-old boy coming to his father and saying, “I really love Betty.”  Dad, after calming down, would ask “What makes you think you’re in love?”  Tim has some ideas, but can’t come close to telling the whole story.

Tim’s problem is the one we all have.  We know more than we can say.  This is why we can recognize a face but not describe it.  It’s those hunches that gamblers play.  It’s those brass rings that let us say things we don’t even remember knowing but they fit the conversation perfectly.

Coaches get a lot of business because of this fundamental human characteristic.  Good coaches ask question to let you say what you know.  Great coaches ask questions to support you in digging deeper into what you know but haven’t said.

Michael Polyani, a scientific theorist, refers to this aspect of human knowledge as “the tacit dimension.”  We know more than we can tell.  And the more we tell, the more we know exists behind those statements.

Interestingly, we can’t get at our tacit knowledge by being told.  We only recognize that deeper knowledge when asked about it.

That’s why coaches matter.  They can ask the questions.  They are curious.  They take what you say and ask for what’s behind it.  Coaches have great metaphors to describe this:

  • Peeling back the layers
  • Unpacking this box
  • Digging deeper

The ability to do this well is not an easy skill.  It takes thought and training.  Learning the science of coaching helps, but understanding the right question at the right time is really about the art of coaching.  (And even great coaches can’t tell you everything about how they do it.)  How can you learn:

Engage with a mentor coach.  Your mentor can help you take apart a coaching sequence so you push your understanding deeper.

Practice mindfulness.  Think more about your second question than your first.  Take time to ask a question that pushes into the tacit dimension.

Get training.  Coach training gives you the opportunity to appreciate the art of coaching.  Investigate possible coach training programs and find one that seems to resonate with you.  Your tacit knowledge will help you find the right one if you listen to it.

 

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