powerful questions – Ultimate Coach University

Neil Phillips Oct 14, 2015

10 Yogi Berra-isms for Coaches

Yogi Berra, one of the greatest baseball players of all time, passed away in September. His feats as a baseball player and coach are legendary. He still holds some records in major league baseball as a player and a coach. He was even the inspiration for a long running cartoon character, Yogi Bear (although Hanna-Barbera denied the association for a long time).

He was also well-known for his ability to coin a phrase. Many of his sayings have become long running punch lines. Here are ten that offer good advice for coaches.

On the importance of deciding and acting: When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

On driving to the end: It ain’t over till it’s over.

On framing and reframing: Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.

On having goals: You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

On being totally committed: Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

On action orientation: How can you think and hit at the same time?

On listening: It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

On coaching silence: You can observe a lot by just watching.

On owning the results: I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

On being in the flow: You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.

Bonus: (It fits every occasion) If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

May he long be remembered.

coaching presence, coaching process, listening, powerful questions, reframing, Yogi Berra

Neil Phillips Sep 3, 2015

What Defines Importance for You?

If a stranger were to watch you for a week, how would they know what is important in your life?

We all carry around a picture in our head of what’s important. And if we talk about our values, materials wants and needs, beliefs and “why’s”, we can find a way to share that picture with someone.

My question is a little different. If someone were to shadow you, what would they say? How do you act towards what is important in your life?

One way they could probably tell is by the amount of time you spend on certain activities. The assumption is that if it’s important, you spend more time doing it. You know that doesn’t tell the whole story.

Your soul and spiritual life is important but as a percentage of time…not so much.

You spend most of your life at work. Does that make it most important?

Can “quality time” replace “quantity of time” as a way to determine importance? Does your passion matter?

I obviously don’t have the answers to these questions and yet I think they are worth pondering. How will you SHOW people what’s important in your life? When you find your answer, then your true self is obvious to everyone.

Coach Approach, passion, powerful questions, Time Management

Neil Phillips Jul 24, 2015

The Art of Coaching

How do you explain passion? How do you know with every core of your being that something is perfect or impossible? The answer lies in what Michael Polanyi calls “The Tacit Dimension.” Tacit knowledge is what we know that we would struggle to say.

Think about young Tim, a teenager just coming to grip with the concept of “love.” I can picture this 13-year-old boy coming to his father and saying, “I really love Betty.” Dad, after calming down, would ask “What makes you think you’re in love?” Tim has some ideas, but can’t come close to telling the whole story.

Tim’s problem is the one we all have. We know more than we can say. This is why we can recognize a face but not describe it. It’s those hunches that gamblers play. It’s those brass rings that let us say things we don’t even remember knowing but they fit the conversation perfectly.

Coaches get a lot of business because of this fundamental human characteristic. Good coaches ask question to let you say what you know. Great coaches ask questions to support you in digging deeper into what you know but haven’t said.

Michael Polyani, a scientific theorist, refers to this aspect of human knowledge as “the tacit dimension.” We know more than we can tell. And the more we tell, the more we know exists behind those statements.

Interestingly, we can’t get at our tacit knowledge by being told. We only recognize that deeper knowledge when asked about it.

That’s why coaches matter. They can ask the questions. They are curious. They take what you say and ask for what’s behind it. Coaches have great metaphors to describe this:

Peeling back the layers
Unpacking this box
Digging deeper

The ability to do this well is not an easy skill. It takes thought and training. Learning the science of coaching helps, but understanding the right question at the right time is really about the art of coaching. (And even great coaches can’t tell you everything about how they do it.) How can you learn:

Engage with a mentor coach. Your mentor can help you take apart a coaching sequence so you push your understanding deeper.

Practice mindfulness. Think more about your second question than your first. Take time to ask a question that pushes into the tacit dimension.

Get training. Coach training gives you the opportunity to appreciate the art of coaching. Investigate possible coach training programs and find one that seems to resonate with you. Your tacit knowledge will help you find the right one if you listen to it.

Coach Approach, consciousness, powerful questions

Neil Phillips Jun 4, 2015

What Will You Say in Your Commencement Address?

I spent most of this past week in San Antonio at the Direct Selling Association Convention seeing what different companies were doing for coaching and leadership development (but that’s a post for a different day). At one luncheon, someone at the table was explaining how he were going to have to leave early so he could get to their high school to be the commencement speaker. Everyone I could see gave a heart-felt OH.

Who among you cannot (without lying) say you never dreamt of giving a commencement address? Yeah, it may have been a fleeting thought, but I am willing to bet that you at least had an image of yourself standing on a stage saying wise things to all of those students about to embark on adulthood.

So let’s play Back to the Future!

You have the chance to go back to your high school and give the commencement address at your graduation ceremony.

What would you tell the younger you?

How could you make the younger you listen?

I can’t begin to answer those questions for you. Next time you have a break, jot down some key points on a notepad. What do you think your work mates would say to these questions?

Now let’s play Back to the Future, Part 2!

You have a chance to go 20 years into the future and meet your older self.

What would you ask?

What would s/he tell you to do or not do?

The real bottom line is very simple: Do what you would tell your other self to do.

Fear, gain from coaching, powerful questions

Neil Phillips May 13, 2015

Five Pitfalls to Avoid When Coaching for Change

I used to think that that my resistance to change was a personal problem. As soon as someone said to me, “You have to . . .” my first inclination was to do exactly the opposite. I now feel great sympathy for my leader who patiently let me rant and provided all of the details I needed to reach “my decision.”

Change management has not gotten any easier for contemporary sales leaders. The top people in direct sales are stuck between a company trying to move things forward and a downline with an attitude worse than mine. I recently offered 30 Questions for Coaching Leaders through Major Change about the curious places I would come from as a coach. If you are a direct sales leader, the question you are most concerned about is a different one: How do I help my team move forward?

A leader-as-coach role is one of the best for supporting a team through change. However, it’s not without its pitfalls. As a leader, you have a stake in the outcome of coaching your downline. You are walking a very thin line between protecting the company’s interests, your interests, and your team member’s interests. Here are some pitfalls you can work to avoid.

Ask more than you tell. Answers to your questions will tell you lots more than nods to your statements.

Listen more than you talk. Let them talk. You’ll find out what is really bothering your team member. If they are feeling oppositional, then your talk (no matter what you say) will only make them feel more righteous in their anger. Think back to the last time you were spitting mad. How would you feel if someone said, “Will you stop and be reasonable?”

Don’t oversell. Stop and think; would you be having this conversation if your downline loved the change? The more you try to explain how good things are going to be, the more you sound like you are selling junk cars.

Every change has an upside and a downside. Your job as a leader is to help others find them both. You are in the best position when you can listen, ask questions, and let your team member decide how the changes will affect their business.

Focus on the basics. Direct selling is always about three things: selling, recruiting, and teaching others to do the same. Keep your team focused on their business activities. The rest is just stuff.

If you are a direct selling leader who has been in this situation, what advice would you give about possible pitfalls?

Coach Approach, listening, powerful questions

Neil Phillips Apr 15, 2015

Creating Your Summer Game Plan

Is it too early to be thinking about summer plans on tax day? I had a coaching call this week with an entrepreneur and that’s what she wanted to discuss. For her, June was a major month for convention, travel, vacation, and kid-out-of-school-time and she wanted to be prepared. I had my AHA before the call was done: If you are an entrepreneur, it’s not too soon! While we usually think about an intensive work time before and after a summer break, the entrepreneur has more to do than just the immediate tasks.

Whether you are in direct sales or some other business, as an entrepreneur your planning needs to go beyond a two-or three week period. Think about direct selling, for example. The people who join your team now will really be hitting their sales stride around late June. The work you do in the summer will set the stage for your fall selling season. Since you are in business for yourself, you need to constantly engage in high level planning.

During our coaching call, six core questions absorbed most of our time. I wanted to share them with you as you start thinking about your summer.

How up to date is your calendar? She was like most of us. Her schedule was very complete for April, mainly complete for May and June, and then sketchy after that. While June was her key month, she came to the realization she needed to be thinking about work for post-June.
What business goals do you want to accomplish this summer? She had a clear vision. Many of her summer goals center on building business relationships through follow-up from the conventions.
What are the most important things you need to do now to prepare for June? This turned out to be a very important question. As she talked through the answer, her accomplishments in the next two weeks will make a lot of difference.
What do your stakeholders need to know? While she thought a lot about his business, she hadn’t gotten to thinking about what her clients expectations are going from now to the end of June. This will be the topic of several conversations between her and her clients before the summer.
What do your contractors need to know? Like the previous question, she hadn’t talked with her support team and needed to bring them into the loop on her plans and work requirements for the next few months.
What do you need to do to fill your fall pipeline? She realized that with a time lag of 90-120 days from starting the sales process to her first payment, her October-November business depends on starting in July. This is a new awareness and shifts her July business focus a bit.

How about you? Are you thinking at a high level about your summer and fall business? If you were, how will things change?

Awareness, coaching process, Goal Setting, powerful questions, Time Management

Neil Phillips Mar 23, 2015

Monday Morning Focus

How does Monday morning start differently from every other morning for you?

Are you already up to a full run? Contemplating the week? Moaning about all you have to get done before you get to the satisfying work?

Your answers say a lot about you and what’s really going to happen. You have created your week.

Is it what you want? The great news is that you get a do-over every Monday. In fact, you get a new start whenever you want.

When Monday is in your head, you get to own every piece of it. Everyday.

Friends, lovers, accountability partners and coaches are all people who can support you in remembering this. Who will you turn to?

Awareness, mindfulness, powerful questions

Neil Phillips Feb 16, 2015

Your Business Culture

We often don’t focus ON the business because we are so busy working IN the business. Don’t feel bad if this has happened to you. It happens to all of entrepreneurs at one time or another. You get those extra orders, a vendor creates problems, marketing isn’t working and on and on and on. Eventually you are so busy putting out fires you aren’t thinking about anything other than fighting fires.

That’s precisely when you should call a TIME OUT to decide if this is the business you want to build. What’s your business culture saying about your business? Culture is the soul of your community. Your culture is what lets you say, “we’re similar” to the people around you and “we’re different” from other cultures. Culture is how you and your business are known. Here are three important steps in focusing on your culture so that you are happy with your reputation.

First, notice what’s happening around you. This is a good time to work with a coach. A coach will support you in noticing how your actions affect those around you. Write your observations so you don’t lose them. Ask some key questions like:

What changed? Do you like it?
How is productivity affected?
What’s missing?
What still needs to go?

Second, cast your vision. How can you best spread the word about your values, both internal and external, with your business? A coach can help you clarify what’s important to you and how you can show that to other people. Until you talk about your vision, people can only guess what’s important to you. As you talk to your team (again and again), your vision will start to catch. And while you can’t control those above you in the business, you can be assured they will notice what’s happening.

Third, repeat steps one and two. You have created a focused approach. Now go with it. You are at the “aim, fire, re-aim, fire, re-aim, fire” stages. A coach can support you in staying true to your vision and keep you accountable to the things that will help it stick.

Here’s your challenge: take 30 minutes this week to step back and look AT your business. Do you like what you see? Does it stand for what you want it to represent? Are you ready to get started?

Awareness, powerful questions

Neil Phillips Feb 11, 2015

When Will You Cross Your Rubicon?

In 49 B.C., Julius Caesar made an irrevocable choice. The Roman Senate ordered Caesar to either terminate his military command and return to Rome or to continue in command and give up his political aspirations. The decision occurred on the banks of the Rubicon River: the Senate warned Caesar that crossing the river with his army would be seen as a declaration of war.

History records Julius Caesar’s decision to cross the Rubicon and change history. Once he made his decision and started the march to Rome, there was no going back. He took away all of his choices. Once he crossed the Rubicon, taking the army to Rome was his only choice. And while he only lived five more years, his mark on history is written in indelible ink.

What would happen to your life if you decided to cross your personal Rubicon? When you make a decision that you can’t take back, your life changes.

You have passion where you wavered before.
Your path forward become really, really clear.
You can articulate your purpose without hesitation or equivocation.

Your unflappable commitment is not to an action. It’s to your vision. When I say that I love my wife, it doesn’t mean that we won’t argue. It means that I am committed to going beyond a squabble every single time.

My business commitment is to growing leaders and unlocking coaching moments. That’s my course even if I don’t get it right 100% of the time.

You must do four things to cross your Rubicon.

Tell the most important people in your life. Speak your commitment to your spouse, children, and close friends. You don’t make irreversible decisions and then not tell people. Make it impossible to back down.

Move forward. You no longer can stand still or go in reverse. You have to move forward. Every day, what will you do to move forward?

Dig deeper. We’re not talking about a hobby or something that would be nice in your spare time. Commitment is a long-term game. It’s about finding, refining, and fulfilling the deeper meaning in your life. To find this type of commitment, you are becoming a lifelong learner. You are going to grow beyond your imagination.

Surrender all doubt. Doubt becomes a useless thought when you can’t uncommit. Why waste the energy?

Your life changes when you cross your river. You’ll have to find a strategy and tactics to continue moving ahead. You’ll need to build a success team of supporters, mentors, and a coach.

When will you cross your Rubicon?

Fear, goals, Opening Questions, passion, powerful questions, Rubicon

Neil Phillips Feb 9, 2015

4-H’s to Start Coaching

I grew up on an Iowa farm. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. A part of my life for eight years was the local 4-H club. While I learned a lot of agriculture, I also learned that life has more to it than a day-to-day existence. Every time the 4-H club met, we said the pledge. As I reflect back on it, if offers a great beginning point for mindfulness. The four H’s are head, heart, hands, and health.

Start with your HEAD.

What do you know?
What don’t you know?
What are your key skills?
What has brought you to this point?

Focus on Your HEART.

What makes you happy?
What would make you happier?
What’s the disquiet you are feeling right now?
What are you excited to talk about?

Move to Your HANDS.

What are your tools?
What do others ask you to do?
What do want to be able to do better?
What activities come naturally to you?

Finish on Your HEALTH (your whole commitment).

What would you do, even if you weren’t paid?
What’s the passion that you can’t contain?
What deserves your full attention?
What do you want to be know for?

Are you considering hiring a coach? Think about these four H’s first.

Are you a coach working with a new client? Start with the four H’s.