We are always off the mark when it comes to describing our strengths and weaknesses. Our built-in-bias makes us overemphasize our good points and minimize our bad ones. For example, 90% of us think we will go to heaven when we die. Yet at the same time, we think that only about a third of our neighbors will make that journey. Our halo also keeps us from seeing ourselves as others see us.
That halo also prevents us from being as effective as we could. In our mind, we see ourselves creating the positive results and blaming others for the negative ones.
True self-understanding can’t happen in a vacuum. Without outside touch points, nothing keeps our bias in check. Our blind spots stay blind.
Whom do you have to keep you honest? To keep you accountable? Here are three quick guidelines to get started with one.
First, don’t pick the person because they make you feel good. Pick your partner because they will help you see yourself as others see you.
Second, pick the person who will ask questions and let you talk. When you ask, “What do you think?” you want them to say back, “you first.”
Third, pick someone who is available. You want to talk with this person every week or two. You want to discuss
- what’s gone right
- what’s gone wrong
- your role in it all
- what you want to do about it moving forward.
Stepping away from your halo is not difficult, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. We have to learn honesty about ourselves.
What will you do this week to find some clues?