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Weekend Love, October Three

Minolta DSC

Minolta DSC

Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

Have you ever thought about the upside of pressure?  Douglas Conant makes a good case when he write about 3 Important Reasons Why Pressure Is a Privilege.

As a coach, I sometimes find new leaders have a hard time with this concept: Before you can Lead Others, you need to Manage Yourself. I’m happy to see Dan McCarthy agrees.

If you’ve recently been promoted or are working on one, this article from Katy Tynan is for you: Do You Have a Manager’s Mindset?

Dan Rockwell always says a lot with a few words.  His article on How to Hold People Accountable without using Authority is no exception.

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before in a Saturday post, but this one from Jon Acuff makes sense to me.  Watch the video and read The candle, the drug dealer & the last video I’ll ask you to watch in 2015.

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Weekend Love, September Twenty-Fifth

iStock_000004751590Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

Sometimes we don’t see ourselves as others see us (you think?).  Madeline Homan Blanchard offers some insights in My Boss Called Me a Drama Queen: Ask Madeleine.

Ever want to do something and couldn’t figure out what?  Life coach Jessica Sweet offers 5 Fun Things To Do When You Are Bored With Life.

I knew it all along: Babies Are Trying to Manipulate You Into Smiling at Them.

After watching many of the political arguments playing right now (am I being cynical?) I found it very refreshing that there is an organization devoted to helping leaders understand what it means to be truthful.  How are you doing on yours?  Lee Ellis, Founder & President of Leadership Freedom LLC, has his say when he writes On Leadership and Telling the Truth: Three Foundational Ways to Avoid Lying.

I spend a lot of time as a coach helping supporting people who want happiness in one form or another.  I couldn’t stop myself from reading this article written by Sherry Amatenstein on Vox news this last week: Everyone wants to be happy. Almost everyone is going about it wrong.

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Weekend Love, September Nineteenth

iStock_000057846572Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

I love the paradoxes we sometimes find ourselves in.  Tim Brownson explores one when he writes If You Want to Be Creative, Stop Trying to Be Creative.

If you want to cross the goal line, you need to set a goal.  Dan Rockwell fills in more details when he writes about 4 Secrets to Winning.

Coaches have a lot (I mean A LOT) of good communication skills at their disposal.  Micheline Germanos provides an insightful case study into applied coaching skills when she writes about The Coaching Case: A Matter of Trust.

From the archives:  You know it’s not as simple as Michael Hyatt writes, but it just might be.  Check out his article on How to Develop the One Trait Essential for Success.

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Weekend Love, September Twelfth

iStock_000049591616Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

We have preferred patterns of communication—particular people, topics, and tones (think gossip).  Dan Rockwell gives some quick advice on what to keep and what to discard when he writes about How to Spiral Up Not Down.

Who wouldn’t like better teamwork?  Jim Whitehurst suggests 3 Ways to Encourage Smarter Teamwork.

No matter how much you try, you can’t do it all.  Leo Babuta provides some insights about making your choices when he writes How Not To Do It All.

From the archives:  Most of the people I coach are trying to find the right way to share their products online without becoming tedious.  I like the advice from Naomi Dunford when she talks about 3 Simple Ways To Mention Your Products From Your Blog or Newsletter.

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Weekend Love, September Fifth

iStock_000042621008Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

When confronted with change, our first reactions range from head-in-the-sand to raging battles.  Susan Fowler asks three of the best questions for a situation like that when she writes about Thriving in the Midst of Change: Ask 3 Questions.

The opening paragraph starts, “Fascinating leaders ask questions. The rest are dullards.”  How can you not want to read the article?  Join Dan Rockwell as he answers that age-old question about How to Become a Fascinating Leader.

I know that I am not the poster child for exercise and fitness.  I do that stuff, and hate it.  Mark Sisson finally explains why.  If you are like me, you can read how you got to this state and ways to get out of it in his article on Why Getting Fit Isn’t the Best Exercise Motivation (and 10 Better Reasons to Move Today).

Bonus Video:  Brian Tracy and his daughter, Christina, discuss his new book , Find your Balance Point.  It’s a great discussion about the stuff we know but don’t do on topics like harmony, being grounded, and working from your passion.  Enjoy The Secret to Finding Balance in Your Life.

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What Defines Importance for You?

your authentic self

If a stranger were to watch you for a week, how would they know what is important in your life?

We all carry around a picture in our head of what’s important.  And if we talk about our values, materials wants and needs, beliefs and “why’s”, we can find a way to share that picture with someone.

My question is a little different.  If someone were to shadow you, what would they say?  How do you act towards what is important in your life?

One way they could probably tell is by the amount of time you spend on certain activities.  The assumption is that if it’s important, you spend more time doing it.  You know that doesn’t tell the whole story.

Your soul and spiritual life is important but as a percentage of time…not so much.

You spend most of your life at work.  Does that make it most important?

Can “quality time” replace “quantity of time” as a way to determine importance?  Does your passion matter?

I obviously don’t have the answers to these questions and yet I think they are worth pondering.  How will you SHOW people what’s important in your life?  When you find your answer, then your true self is obvious to everyone.

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The Language of Time

iStock_000069185021Kenneth Burke once said about humans that “Man is the symbol-using (symbol-making, symbol-misusing) animal.”  His statement is probably the most accurate when we talk about time and how we use it.  Here are three examples.

The opposite of life is not work.  It’s easy to get upset about a lack of work-life balance.  Unfortunately, the opposite of life is not work.  It’s death.  The opposite of work is non-work.  Really, isn’t the choice among work, recreation, spiritual, community, personal wellbeing, etc.?

Balance is not a static state.  We think about have work-life balance as if it were a set of weights and measures.  Take some time from this side of the scale and put it on the other and then you’ve got balance.  Unfortunately, time does not stand still.  After all, time keeps moving on.  The minute after you think you’ve achieved a state of balance, you lose it.

We don’t control time.  Time continues to do what it does despite our best efforts to manage it.  When we give up the futile effort to manage time and switch our focus to managing what we do with our time, then powerful shifts happen.

If we are really listening to Kenneth Burke, when we change our language we change our possibilities.  For example:

  • Pay attention to what you are doing. You can be so into the flow that time concerns go away.
  • Think about time as flowing. What does balance mean to you now?
  • Take a long-term perspective. How’s your balance over the course of a month?  A year?

Changing our language is not an easy task.  We’ve spent a lifetime creating these images and relationships in our heads.  How will you start to be less concerned with balance?

 

 

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Weekend Love, August Twenty-Ninth

iStock_000065250231Here are some of the great nuggets that I’ve found on the web recently. This handful of links takes you to tools or insightful content. Occasionally I’ll include one from my “save” file if it fits the mood.

I spoke with the Plano, Texas Chamber of Commerce this last week about time management.  I’m not sure there is a more fitting topic for a coach to address.

I always start from the perspective that there isn’t enough time for everything, but there is enough time for the important things. Here are three of the articles that helped shape my thinking.

How do you compare earning money to other options?  Frank Sonnenberg askes eight questions to get to the answer.  His questions can be found in the article, 8 Reasons Why Money’s Not Worth What You Think.

Grace Bluerock has worked in hospice care for the last six years.  Here are Five Life Lessons I Learned from the Dying.

Did you know the phrase “work-life balance” didn’t show up until the mid-80’s.  Before that it was “work-leisure balance.” The difference shifts your thinking a bit, doesn’t it?  Read more from Eric Devaney in Should You Strive for Work/Life Balance? The History of the Personal & Professional Divide.

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Diane Dieffenbach: New Direct Sales Certified Coach

Diane DieffenbachBy Dana Phillips

We are pleased to announce our newest Certified Direct Sales Coach, Diane Dieffenbach. She completed the direct sales certification program this summer and plans to continue to pursue her Associate Certified Coach credential with the International Coach Federation.

Diane, Field Service Manager for Dove Chocolate Discoveries, loves people and enjoys supporting others to reach their goals.  She found UCU the right place to give her systematic approach to coaching for better results.

She thoroughly enjoyed the program and speaks highly of the way DiSC is intertwined throughout the program.  She sees DiSC as a tool to forge deeper relationships with her clients and uses it in many aspects of her professional and personal life.

Her mentor coach enthusiastically commends Diane for her growth as a coach.  “Diane is a very thoughtful individual. She has a high sense of empathy, and she developed excellent skills in the core coaching competencies.”

Diane and her husband have two children. They make their home in Blairstown, New Jersey.  Follow Diane’s blog at https://intentionalcoaching.wordpress.com/.

Ultimate Coach University is an ICF Accredited Coach Training Program.  It is the only accredited program offering training in direct sales coaching.

 

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Do What I Do

do what you tellI have had the opportunity to observe many leaders in business. When I think back, there are a couple of people who commanded leadership through their person, not their position.  One of them is Gaylin Olson.  I always considered him as an authentic leader.  He understood people. He cast vision.  He built alignment to goals. He was, and still is a fun loving, humble man.

Authentic leadership begins with doing the things that you ask others to do.  I’m sure you’ve heard the old expression, “Do what I say, not what I do.”  That won’t get you very far.

If you don’t do what you tell others to do, then you appear to be a hypocrite, arrogant, or inauthentic.  You’ll lose respect and with it your credibility to attract and keep people on your team.

What can you do?  Here’s how to get started.

Be on time.  While you may think your activities are more important, that doesn’t cut it with your team.  Look through their eyes.  When you are late, you are saying (with your actions) that they are less important than you.  If you are going to be late, let them know.  Be respectful.

Keep your commitments or change them. If you promise to follow up, do it. Or change your commitment by asking the person to follow up with you.  If you commit to sending material, doing a meeting, keep that commitment or change it.

Be professional.  Do you really want to be known for your tantrums?  How about getting a reputation as having a short fuse and explosive temper?

  • Don’t swear
  • Don’t raise your voice
  • Be polite. Say please, thank you, and hold doors for people.
  • Correct in private. When I first started in direct sales, I was given some advice that I’ve tried to follow religiously.  You praise in public and fix in private.  No one likes to be demeaned in front of the group.

Take responsibility.  If something goes wrong under your direction, admit your mistake. There’s some very good research to indicate that accepting responsibility is the first step to improvement.  It also let’s your team know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’ll work to fix things.  Don’t be afraid to apologize.  Saving the relationship may be more important that refusing responsibility for failure.

Share the successes.  Really, you didn’t do it all on your own.  When the accolades come, you need to share them.  Catch your team doing things right and tell them that.  Share the glory in both public and private.

You may be the leader.  When you act like one, your people will keep you there.

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